What Do You Do When You Don’t Use Good Communication Skills?

Have you ever blown it in the way you communicate? Maybe you know better but you still revert back to old habits. Normally, I try to take my own advice and am careful about how I communicate especially on sensitive issues. However, sometimes someone steps on a sore spot and I respond before thinking. Recently, I snapped at my son about something he did that irritated me.

He retorted, “Mom, why don’t you communicate the way you teach.” My heart sank and I felt bad. How could I teach on resolving conflict and using good communication skills if I don’t do it right all the time? I emailed a friend and shared my concern. She emailed me back and encouraged me to extend grace to myself. Her advice made so much sense. Of course, I’m going to make mistakes. I am an imperfect person in a learning process. The important thing is that I come back to what I know what is best. Then I can take responsibility for my mistakes, apologize and learn from them.

Later I talked through the issue with my son and we came to a place of peace with each other. Teach your children good communication skills because then you will be able to work through conflicts with them.

The lesson to learn is when you make communication mistakes, don’t be too hard on yourself. Do take responsibility for them and ask yourself, “What can I learn from this to have a better outcome next time?” Extend grace to yourself as well as others and you will find more peace within and in your relationships.

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.” Romans 8:1 (NIV)


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