Conflict to Peace in Relationships

Relationship Help: How to Handle Relationship Mistakes.

Have you ever really blown it in the way you handled a relationship or a relationship situation? You made a serious mistake or mistakes that caused damage to the other person and the relationship and you know it. You feel sorry now and regret the mistakes and wonder what you can do to repair the situation. Sometimes you can go back and make it right with the person. Sometimes not.

If you can, by all means go to the person and apologize and make things right the best you can. It’s best of course to do that as soon as possible after an offense. However, even if it’s been a long time ago you can still bring healing with an apology.

Next, do your best to be faithful in the area you failed the person. This will rebuild and restore the trust that has been broken.

If you can’t go to that person or make a situation right, determine to make different and better choices in future relationship.

God knew we would not be perfect. He knew we would make mistakes and so He gives second chances and ways to redeem ourselves. Though the pain of the consequences may be real, you can learn from your mistake. You can turn around and make better choices and regain honor by being faithful in the very area you were weak in before.
Is that cool or what?

"Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for; through the fear of the LORD a man avoids evil."
 Proverbs 16:6 (NIV)

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Building Trust in Relationships: What Helps Someone Depend on You?

Have you ever depended on someone who said they would be at a certain place at a designated time and they never show up? Or have you relied on someone who says they will help you when you truly need it and they don't follow through? Or someone makes a promise to you of something they will do for you and then they don't do it?

It used to annoy my daughters when their friends would say, "Let's have lunch sometime" and never follow though. I'm sure you've experienced the frustration as I have when someone says they will help you, give you something or do something for you and they don't end up doing it.

We create expectations with our words and when we don't follow through, we disappoint people. Ultimately this harms us too because we lose favor with them.

It's one thing if it happens occasionally because most of us have times when we may over promise and under deliver. However, if it happens on a regular basis, people will stop trusting your word and it will harm the relationship.

Reliability is important in relationships. If this is an issue for you, here's a couple of tips to help you be more reliable.

1. Be careful with your words and commitments until you are sure you can follow through.
2. Be cautious not to over commit. Sometimes your desire may be to help someone or do something for them but think it through before you commit.
3. If you can't keep a commitment, let the person know with a phone call, email or in some way.

Trust is important in building and maintaining relationships and can prevent relationship problems and conflict.

"Like a bad tooth or a lame foot is reliance on the unfaithful in times of trouble." Proverbs 25:19 (NIV)

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How to Find Joy in Hard Times

Last Saturday, I woke up to rain outside and rain in my heart due to some hard life circumstances. In addition to that, my throat was sore and my head pounded. I had promised to take my adopted teenage daughters to a Christmas tea that morning.

My body begged to go back to sleep. The thought flitted through my mind to tell them I was sick and couldn't go. My daughter's sparkling eyes and the excitement in her voice when I told her I would take her to the tea, popped into my mind. I sighed. I couldn't disappoint them.

I'd already hit the snooze button twice and the time was creeping way. I dragged my weary body out of bed, quickly showered and took my daughters to the Christmas tea.

The room was filled with chattering women, their friends, sisters, mothers and daughters, grandmas and granddaughters. I noticed all the various colorful Christmas sweaters, shirts, vests and various other cheerful outfits. The colorful scene brought a smile to my heart chasing the fog in my brain away.

We sat down at a table began to visit with the other women. We sipped tea and nibbled on tea sandwiches, mini quiches, chocolate chip scones, mini cream puffs and a wide variety of homemade cookies. Soon the cheerful chatter of my daughters and the other women at the table replaced the rain in my heart with sunshine.

Later that evening, I took my sons and daughter to a candlelight service at our local small university which focused around the true meaning of Christmas. The excellent chorale music brought the healing power, comfort and nurture of beauty expressed in music.

How do you find joy in difficult times or when you feel gloomy? Do something for someone else in your life! Go to places or events that are fun and nurturing. Give someone else a gift of time. Invest in your relationships! This gets the focus off your issues and problems and interesting enough, brings healing, renewal and refreshment to your heart!

Another benefit is when you make positive deposits in your relationships, you build up a reservoir of good will that will help you through any future conflicts.

Give even when you don't feel like it and you might be surprised at the joy you find!

"Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Luke 6:38

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