How do You Talk to Your Teen?

Have you noticed that sometimes teens are a little more withdrawn and not as eager to talk? Not always but often this happens with teenagers. If you’ve wondered how to connect with your teen then read on.

3 Tips on How to Talk to Your Teen

Tonight, I decided to take a bike ride and enjoy what was left of the beautiful spring day. Before I had a chance to go, my thirteen year old daughter came home from her soccer game and immediately jumped on her bike and went for a ride.

I headed back into my computer and finished a couple of chores and then thought I’d see if I could catch up with her. Just then, she came back inside. “Mom, would you like to go ride with me?” I smiled at the perfect timing and off we went. My other daughter is easy to talk to but she was on the quiet side so it was more difficult to draw her out.

1. Talk about things they are interested in. I asked her about soccer. She shared about the game and her excitement over the fact she made three goals.

We had watched a movie together as a family the night before and I was curious about what she thought about it.

2. Ask open ended questions. Open ended questions are ones you cannot simply reply yes or no to. Example: “How do you feel? How do you know? What do you think?

I asked her, “What did you think about the movie?” She shared in detail what she liked and didn’t like. It opened up a meaningful discussion between us as we shared our thoughts. I gained some insights into how she thought and what is important to her.

3. Listen without interrupting. Acknowledge their points when appropriate  as well as sharing your thoughts. The same guidelines I covered in tips on talking and listening together applies to teens as well.

When we returned from our bike ride, as she came in and sat on the couch and ate her snack, I felt closer to her. My attempts to connect paid off.

This is not a comprehensive list of strategies but these three tips will move you toward a more meaningful relationship with your teen.

“…be quick to listen…” James 1:19 (NIV)


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