When someone offends you, what do you want to do in response? When someone does something to offensive, a natural reaction, out of your own pain, is to lash back. You want to hurt them back or let them know that was not acceptable to you.
You may need to confront them and the situation. However, before you do, you will handle things better if you get over the offense before you talk to them. You will be calmer if you have worked through some of your anger and frustration and they will be more likely to receive what you have to say.
7 Tips to get over the offense:
- Take some time by yourself to think. Find a time and place to process things. It can even be while you do other chores but take some focused time to think.
- Do a little self evaluation. Why did what they said or did bother you so much? What is the reason behind your anger? Was it an attack on your value and worth? Was it their lack of consideration of your needs? Was it their irresponsibility? What is the core issue for you?
- Ask yourself some questions. Is there any truth in what they said? What part of it is something you can change and what part of it is their issue?
- Ask God for wisdom to help you understand yourself and the other person. If you are having a hard time sorting it through, talk to a trusted friend or write out your thoughts and feelings. It helps significantly if you make an attempt to understand the other person’s point of view. Put yourself in their shoes.
- Make a decision to forgive the person and extend grace to them. We all make mistakes even harmful ones. Forgiveness helps us to get rid of the anger. If you are having trouble forgiving, ask God to help you and to give you what you need to forgive. A mindset of forgiveness will help you address the person in a more honoring way.
- Plan out the points you want to make before you talk to them. This will help you be clearer and more focused in the discussion.
- Review the principles I wrote in an earlier post on tips for sharing your thoughts and feelings.
It’s usually scary to confront someone who offended you. It’s easier to withdraw but that won’t solve any problems and leaves you at risk for resentment. These tips will help you press past the fear and have the needed courage to resolve the problem.
“In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.”
Ephesians 4:26 (NIV 1984)