Have You Ever Vented Your Anger and Later Regret It?

Have you ever blown up at someone and said things you wish you had not said? Have you said things in anger that you don’t really mean?

Sometimes you say and do things that have nothing to do with what you are truly upset about. A natural, healthy guilt comes when you know you have not treated another person correctly. The question is how do you make the situation right? How do you redeem your mistake?

5 Tips to turn a negative situation into a positive one

1.    Remove yourself from the situation and go somewhere to calm down.

2.    If you feel guilty, give yourself some grace. Everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is to learn from the situation what you can do differently next time.

3.    Take some time to find out what you are truly angry about. When you are angry, you are trying to take a stand for something. Get in touch with what that is. Review the post for tips on what to do when you are angry.

4.    Swallow your pride and apologize to the person. Even if they were wrong, you need to take responsibility for the wrong you did. An apology will usually soften the other person’s heart and make them more willing to consider your point of view. Be specific about what you didn’t mean to say or do. Words have power and they hurt. When you specifically apologize for what you said, it removes the lingering doubt in the person’s mind.

5.    After you’ve calmed down and figured out what the real issues are for you, talk to them. If you feel you can better express yourself in writing or don’t feel you can talk with them in person, email or write them.

Hopefully, the person will receive your apology, and you can be reconciled. Ideally, you can have a more productive conversation and understand each other better. In this way, something negative can be turned into something positive.

If not, you do the best you can to make things right, give it some space and time and “let go and let God.” You can learn from every situation and gain wisdom for the next time. As you grow wiser, you will be able to control yourself better.

“A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control.  Proverbs 29:11 (NIV)

 

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