Have you ever experienced someone yelling at you? Have you had someone exploded in anger over something you did or didn’t do? Maybe you didn’t even do anything but someone still lost their temper with you. Maybe you feel attacked.
Most of us have had situations where someone started yelling at us or expressing their anger at us. This is very unpleasant and our initial reaction often is to yell back. However, when we do, this only adds more fuel to the fire and the situation can grow into something bigger causing additional unnecessary conflict.
What is the best thing to do?
3 Tips to Deal With Someone When They Are Angry
- Do your best to control yourself and remain calm. If you can remember, take several deep breaths before you respond. Some people recommend counting under your breath to ten. This will help you calm down and not respond back in anger. Years ago, I accidentally hit someone’s bumper in a parking lot. It didn’t do any damage but the man jumped out of the car. He yelled and screamed at me, “What do you think you are doing? Why don’t you watch where you are going?”Quickly, I responded, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know you were going to stop. I am truly sorry.” He calmed down immediately. I’m sure if I had answered with an angry retort, the situation would have escalated.
- Listen to what the person has to say. Even if they are not expressing it in a good way, as long as they are not being abusive, let them vent. This helps them get their frustration out so they can think more clearly and they will be more willing to listen to you.
- Try to understand what is behind the anger and express your understanding of the underlying issue. A friend of mine had a son who came home and started yelling at her over a misunderstanding about plans for supper. He wanted to go play basketball and failed to communicate that to her. She planned on supper at the same time. Rather than take offense, she controlled herself and talked to him calmly. She listened to him and then shared her viewpoint. He was stressed from a frustrating day and her willingness to understand what was behind the anger opened a way for a satisfactory resolution to the conflict.
The next time someone gets angry with you, make an effort to control yourself,
listen and understand the other person. You may think you have power when you scream and yell but it actually takes more strength to respond in a peaceful
way. If you want to be a strong person and have people respect you, discover the power of a calm answer.
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs