When tempers flare or an offense is taken, do you resolve your conflicts quickly?
Roselyn made a communication mistake. Instead of using an “I” message when she talked with her adult daughter, Lily, about a sensitive issue, she used the accusatory “you.” Lily immediately took offense and started to walk away.
Even though Roselyn felt she was right about the issue, she didn’t to be alienated from her daughter. She swallowed her pride and stepped up to Lily before she could get in the car, “Wait, let’s talk about this, ” she pleaded. Lily paused and turned to her mother and began to share her perspective.
Lily’s explanations helped Roselyn to see some things differently. “I understand what you were thinking,” Roselyn reassured her daughter.
Then Lily admitted, “I agree with you about one of your points but I didn’t like when you said___” Roselyn then had the chance to explain further her reasons for saying what she did only this time she remembered to use “I” messages and dropped the accusatory tone.
Lily said, “I understand Mom and it won’t happen again.”
Roselyn and Lily kissed each other on the cheek. Then Lily opened her car door and left. Roselyn breathed a sigh of relief. The conflict didn’t have to ruin the afternoon for both of them. They were at peace with each other.
5 Key Communication Principles To Quickly Resolve Conflict
1. Knowledge of communication principles. They knew how to work through conflict. Roselyn taught her daughter when she was younger and then Lily adopted the value for herself.
2. Value the relationship. They valued the relationship enough to talk through the issues so they could be at peace with each other.
3. Let each other speak. They knew the importance of letting the other person speak with the intent to understand each other.
4. Willingness to quickly deal with the conflict. They knew the importance of speedily resolving the issue so it didn’t linger between them.
5. Love is the bridge between two hearts. They reaffirmed their love for each other with reassurances that they loved each other.
What about you and your family and friends? What can you do to learn good communication principles and ways to resolve conflicts? Bookmark this blog and return to often to find tons of useful tips. Even if other family members or friends are not willing, you still can learn and model for them what to do.
If you feel the need for a little more personal input, check out the help and support offered here. If you need more insight on how to handle relationship mistakes when they are not resolved quickly, you’ll find more insight in other posts on this site.
How about you? Do you know how to resolve conflict? What action are you going to take on what you’ve learned from this blog post?
23 So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there, remember that your brother has something against you, 24 leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. Matthew 5:23, 24
*names have been changed