My kids’ giggles burst through the closed doors into my work area where I am trying to focus! I love the sound. Though they had an argument earlier because they’ve learned to resolve conflict, they were able to work through it. Now they could enjoy each other. Their giggles distract me in a good way and make me smile. Their joy reminds me in the midst of work, it’s good to take time to enjoy life. And it also reminds me when you learn how to resolve conflict, you can enjoy life and have peace.
How can you help your kids resolve conflict?
One simple tip is to let them each have their say. The rules are, all the others are to remain silent and listen to the other person speaking. Then the next one can have their say and so on. There are interruptions and sometimes disagreements so it doesn’t have to be formal but essentially they need to understand that everyone needs to have the opportunity to express their viewpoint.
Many times when they take the time to listen to each other, they will negotiate on their own to work things out. This is better than an adult stepping in because they learn to problem solve which will help them mature and develop life skills. When necessary, you as the adult can mediate. Even then it’s wise to give them space and time to work it out rather than jumping in with solutions.
If you have taught them the importance of listening, sometimes just your presence and the accountability to listen to each other is all that is needed. Though it may seem you are giving away your control, it is actually to your benefit because it puts less pressure on you and it empowers your children.
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” James 1:19 (NIV)
What is your experience? How have you helped kids resolve conflict? Let me know in the comments below.