Category Archives: Confrontations

Let Go of the Toxic People in Your Life

Do you have someone in your life who makes destructive choices and refuses to change? Do their actions or words create a toxic emotional environment for you? Do you feel pressure to remain in a relationship because they are a … Continue reading

Posted in Conflicts, Confrontations, Difficult Relationships, Letting Go, Relationship Help | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Conflict Resolution–How to Resolve Conflict Quickly

When tempers flare or an offense is taken, do you resolve your conflicts quickly? Roselyn made a communication mistake. Instead of using an “I” message when she talked with her adult daughter, Lily about a sensitive issue, she used the … Continue reading

Posted in Apology, Arguments, Communication, Conflicts, Confrontations, Keys to Reconciliation, Offenses | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Relationship Problems: How to Avoid Strife and Live in Peace

Recently, I rode with a couple, friends of mine who had been married for many years. I love them but their bickering drives me nuts.

We had dinner and were driving home from a new and unfamiliar location and he lost his way. I’ve changed the names and details to protect their identities.

“If you would just turn around and go back, you could get on the road the guy at the gas station told you to.” Sue* told Bill.*

Bill replied, “I won’t miss it. I know I can get there if I go straight ahead. Don’t worry I am in control.”

“You weren’t in control when you got confused back there and you had to ask,” she retorted.

As they drove she said, “Get over there so the other cars can pass you. You are going too fast.”

“No, I’m not. I’m fine.”

“You are going too fast. You are going 70 and that is dangerous. It’s not safe!”

He ignored her.

Finally, he realized he’s going in the wrong direction so he turned the car around. “Oh no, now I have to go back by the strip mall again and I don’t want to do that.”

Even though he realized he was wrong, Sue wouldn’t leave it alone. “If you just listened and turned back there, you wouldn’t have to go past here again. I don’t know why you wouldn’t listen in the first place.”

About that point, I wanted to scream, “STOP!” But the quarreling did not end. All the way home they argued about the directions, the driving, the turnoffs, whatever. When we finally arrived at our destination, I breathed a sigh of relief.

Can you relate to the above scenario? Maybe not to the degree in this situation but on some level, you can find yourself engaged in strife, contending with a family member, friend or coworker. Strife is not good for you. It’s not good for your emotional or physical health. How can you get out of it? How can you live in a peaceful environment instead of a strife filled one?

5 tips to avoid strife:

  1. Give up the urge to prove the other person wrong. When you have to prove the other wrong as Sue did, it provoked Bill to argue back to prove he was right. The person has to regain a sense of dignity so they will fight back.
  2. Don’t gloat over it when you are right. Avoid saying, “I told you so” or say as Sue did, “If you had only listened…”  especially if you say it in a critical way. You can think that but unless the person is willing to  tease about it themselves, it can stir things up and cause continued fighting.
  3. Let each other make mistakes without rubbing it in and nagging about it. Sometimes it’s hard but let it go. You have to swallow your own pride at being right. You don’t always have to point out the wrong to the other person and rub it in. Hopefully the person will learn from their mistake.
  4. Give grace for mistakes. We all make them and we’d want people to overlook ours so extend that grace to them.
  5. Treat the person with respect. Follow the golden rule and do unto others as you would like for them to do unto you.

Avoid strife and you will enjoy peace in your environment. This takes discipline and you have to be intentional about it. If you chose this wisdom, you will enjoy a greater benefit. Your mental, emotional and physical health will flourish when make choices that bring peace.

Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. Proverbs 17:1 (NIV 1984)

*names changed

How about you? Have you had this experience? What do you do? Put your comments in the box below.

Posted in Arguments, Conflicts, Confrontations, Keys to Reconciliation | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Relationship Help: Does That Person Who Irritates You, Have a Purpose?

Do you have a family member, boss or co-worker  or maybe even a friend who irritates you by pointing out some shortcoming in your life more than once? Like sisters often do, my sister and I share freely with each … Continue reading

Posted in Attitude, Conflicts, Confrontations, Criticism, Offenses, Resentment | 1 Comment

How to Get out of the Blame Game

“She made me angry! That’s why I hit her” Billy protested when his mother rebuked him for hitting his little sister. Susan defended her rude behavior to her friend Susie, “I was mean with her because of what she did.” … Continue reading

Posted in Conflicts, Confrontations, Criticism, Victim | 3 Comments

Why Shouldn’t You Use Should?

The other day I received an email from someone, “You should have told me earlier….” The tone felt like a scolding. As it turns out the situation was not my fault for not letting her know earlier because I didn’t … Continue reading

Posted in Confrontations, Criticism, Mistakes, Relationship Building | 2 Comments

Is Criticism the Best Way to Get a Person to Change?

Do you think that criticizing someone over and over is the way you get them to change? You know the “How many times have I told you…” syndrome. Sometimes we think with our children or spouses or other loved ones … Continue reading

Posted in Conflicts, Confrontations, Criticism, Mistakes, Offenses | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Relationship Help~3 Tips for Solving Any Problem You Face

When you face a challenging relationship problem or are in a difficult situation, what do you do? Do you try to work things out by yourself. Do you stay stuck in a rut? Do you withdraw? Do you run from … Continue reading

Posted in Conflicts, Confrontations, Relationship Help | 6 Comments

Resolving Conflict – How to Overcome Resistance to Something You Request

Today, I took charge of a situation and received resistance from a family member. When I shared this later with a older friend, she advised me, “Ask questions. I’ve found people in general and my husband in particular to be … Continue reading

Posted in Conflicts, Confrontations, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Conflict Resolution: Do You Walk on Eggshells Around Certain People?

Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells around some people? This post will give you some tips and insights how to respond to the person that will empower you.
Continue reading

Posted in Anger, Attitude, Conflicts, Confrontations, Criticism, Keys to Reconciliation, Offenses, Relationship Help | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments