Are There Benefits to Confronting versus Holding it in?

It’s harder to confront an issue than to let it slide or hold it in. We’ve talked about the importance of listening and 7 Tips to Effective Listening which you can read when you are finished with this post. Now let’s talk about confrontation.

I usually feel more vulnerable and somewhat fearful about confronting an issue as opposed to letting it slide or keeping it to myself. Fearful questions run through my head. Will what I have to say be received? Will I be rejected or understood? Will there be retaliation? These are common fears to many of us.

It takes courage to confront. Courage is not the absence of fear but doing it despite the fear. Courage will motivate you to press into the fear.

There are benefits to confronting that will help us press into the fear.

These three benefits among others, the hope of achieving change for the better, being able to express our feelings and improved emotional health can help us overcome the fear of confrontation.

  1. Addressing an issue can change the dynamics of the relationship for the better and you can achieve the desired outcome.
  2. Even if the desired change doesn’t happen, you’ve had a chance to express your thoughts and feelings. This can help you “let go” and move on. It keeps you from “bagging it.”  “Bagging it” is when you let things go but you put it in a bag like a back pack on your back. You keep putting little things in your back pack and the bag gets heavier and heavier. Then one day you “dump it” on the person all at once. They don’t even know what hit them. This is one of the most unfair things you can do to a person. It’s better to express the little irritations as you go along rather than let them build up. Even if the person doesn’t respond the way you wanted, at least you can set a boundary, take stand on an issue or express your feelings. This is much healthier than “bagging it.”
  3. You are healthier emotionally when you can express your feelings rather than “bagging them” and good emotional health also affects your physical health in a positive way.

We’ll discuss some tips for expressing feelings in effective ways in the next post.

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,” Ephesians 4:26 (NIV

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