If you want your life to change for the better, you have to change your thinking. You have to be open to a new perspective and a new level of understanding. This applies to relationships as well.
Sometimes you get stuck in a negative rut in a relationship. It can be destructive or even unhealthy to both of you. Maybe there is regular conflict, arguing or times of insulting each other. Sometimes in close relationships, you can take each other for granted and not treat them as well as you would a non-family member or friend. This is not good. The best thing is to create an environment at home that is nurturing and positive for all the family members.
Maybe you have come to a place of being aware that you are in a negative place and don't like what is going on in a relationship. How to change it?
Seven Tips:
1. For starters, recognize you cannot change the other person. You can only
change yourself.
2. You might want to analyze what it is about you that causes you to respond
the way you do.
3. Be open to how you can change your thinking and behavior.
4. Ask God to help you to see the situation with fresh eyes and to show you how
you can change.
5. The Bible talks about putting on your new self. You have to be willing to
give up the old ways to embrace the new.
6. God sets you free to be a new and different person and we cooperate with him whenever we are willing
to make different choices.
7. Ask Him to help you and He will. He is eager to help you move to a better
place and has all the wisdom in the world to give to you.
One time when one of my daughters was seventeen, tension filled the air when we related. I didn't like what was going on so I decided to make some positive changes in the way I approached her and talked to her. My attitude changed. I overlooked more of her faults, tried to be more patient and positive with her. When I had to correct her, I did it in a way that preserved her dignity. I didn't do it perfectly. However, when I made mistakes and tried to learn from each one.
Over time, our relationship improved dramatically. She never did change and to this day, I see some of her old behavior with others but not with me. When she's with me, because of the way I treat her she is able to come up to a higher level. Someday when she decides to change, she will have had the positive behavior modeled for her.
This is not easy and it is a learning process so give yourself some grace. Once you decide on your new behavior, it's often like a baby learning to walk, you fall down, get back up, fall down and get back up but eventually you'll get it!
The reward for you? More peace in your heart and relationships!
…put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Colossians 3:10 (NIV)
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Colossians 3:12 (NIV)
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