What is one of the most important gifts you can give to children? Your love and delight in them. When you do, the respond back with such joy. The soil of your love and pleasure in them gives them the nourishment they need to thrive. This brings forth the blooms of the beauty of their gifts, talents and abilities buried within, to bless the world!
This is one of the most effective communication strategies you can develop with children and teens. Then when you have to correct them, you already have a bank account of good will with them and they will respond better to your discipline.
I don't know if you wondered what happened to my posts. I realize it's been a long time since I've posted to this blog. The main reason is that husband and I adopted three more children, two girls, 18, 13 & a 12 year old boy. As you will read in the about me section, we had previously adopted four teens from poverty. We adopted, our son Alex from Brazil at age fifteen. He graduated from a local university at age twenty-three. When asked what he wanted to do with his degree, Alex said, "I know I could have the good life in the USA but what I really want to do is find my siblings, get them out of poverty and give them the opportunities I had."
Through a series of miracles, Alex found them and stayed in Brazil for five years to care for them. Since the mother died and the father abandoned them, my husband and I decided to adopt them to bring them to the USA. Now we have seven adopted children!
Needless to say this is challenging. Though I'd had experienced adoption of teens before, this is different. We adopted three at once and our son and their brother, Alex lives with us as well.
One day, after they arrived about three months ago, as I talked to a friend and expressed my uncertainty, she said, "Sharon, relax. Love and enjoy them. Don't try to be perfect or do everything perfectly. Love and delight in them and that is what they will remember when they grow up."
Her words reminded me of insight I had with in my previous parenting experience with our teens, "It's more important that you love and delight in your children than that you do everything just right." This approach has definitely eased the many adjustments and makes it more fun for them and for me.
Whether they are your own children & teens, your nieces and nephews, grandchildren, neighbor children, children you see at church or other gatherings, take the time to interact and delight in them. There is no greater gift you can give them and the world.
"Children are a gift of the LORD," Psalm 127:3 (NAS)
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