What Do You Do When You Don't Use Good Communication Skills?

Normally, I try to take my own advice and am careful about how I communicate especially on sensitive issues. However, sometimes someone steps on a sore spot and I respond before thinking. Recently, I snapped at my son, Alex about something he did that irritated me.

He retorted, "Mom, why don't you communicate the way you teach." My heart sank and I felt bad. How could I teach on resolving conflict and using good communication skills if I don't do it right all the time?

I emailed a friend and shared my concern. She emailed me back and encouraged me to extend grace to myself. That made so much sense. Of course, I'm going to make mistakes. I am an imperfect person in a learning process. The important thing is that I come back to what I know what is best. Then I can take responsibility for my mistakes, apologize and learn from them.

Later Alex and I talked through the issue and we were fine with each other. It's a good idea to teach your children good communication skills because then you will be able to work through conflicts with them.

The lesson to learn is when you make communication mistakes, don't be too hard on yourself. However, do take responsibility for them and ask yourself, "What can I learn from this to have a better outcome next time?" Extend grace to yourself as well as others and you will find more peace within and in your relationships!

"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus." Romans 8:1 (NIV)

Comments

[sandi]

I followed this advice and the advice from the Bible. It says that if we have a grudge or problem with a brother, don't even go to God, go to the brother first and resolve the issue and then bring your offerings to God.

I had reacted negatively to severe criticism from a customer. She was wrong and treated me poorly but my response was not good or gracious. I stubbornly tried to defend myself and set her straight.

Of course it didn't work.

Each time I sat down to have devotions for the next week the Holy Spirit reminded me to apologize to her.

I finally reached her by telephone. I told her I had behaved badly by reacting instead of responding. I asked if she would be willing to forgive me.

She began to gush about how poorly she had treated me and that she was wrong and that I should be forgiving her.

I responded by telling her that I had acted just like she did in other circumstances and that it was good for me to be on the other side and see how it felt to be treated like that.

We made up and ended up parting on friendly terms. Whenever I saw her name before I grimaced. Now when I see her name, I smille... there is no animosity there.

Unforgiveness is so unhealthy and unpleasant. God's ways are so refreshing and freeing... even though they are sometimes difficult.

So like Sharon, I got it wrong but by God's grace I was able to go back and make it right.

Sharon's advice is so refreshing in a world of disposable relationships. She teaches us to hang in there and keep friendships alive.