How Do You Handle Interruptions Without Hurting a Child or Teen's Feelings?

When you are in the middle of a task you need to focus on and your children or teen interrupts, it is easy to get impatient with them. Then they can get the feeling they are not important. How do you treat them with respect, and still get done what you need to get done?

1. Let them know you value what they have to say or need.
2. Set your boundary and tell them when you can talk with them or get what they want.
3. Follow through and make sure you seek them out to hear what they wanted to share or meet their need.

I met a woman this week who has three young children. During our conversation, she shook her head, "They're always interrupting me. It's hard when I'm in the middle of something that I need to focus on because I run my business out of my home. When they come up to me with something they 'have to show or tell' me, I say, 'I really want to hear what you have to say and I can't be interrupted right now. I'll come and find you as soon as I'm finished because I want to hear all about it. 'If I didn't do that, I would be just saying uh huh without really listening. This way, I can focus on what I'm doing and give them my full attention when I'm finished.”

This conversation reminded me of when my teens were home and wanted my attention and I was in the middle of something. I'd say, "Let me get to a stopping place. Then I'll come and talk with you or help you." Or if I knew the time I'd be finished, I'd say, "Give me five minutes or ten minutes. Then I sought them out to hear what they had to say, help them or to get them what they needed.

When you listen to your children, you let them know you value them and their needs. When you teach them to respect your boundaries, you teach them to respect themselves and others. These principles can also be applied to other relationships.

 “Be kind and compassionate to one another.” Ephesians 4:32a (NIV)

For more tips on listening and talking together, see my previous post on 7 Tips for Effective Listening and Talking Together.

Comments

[sandi]

this is amaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing stuff.

i'm sandi, the sister she talks about.
we used to have a volatile relationship and i even went two years without speaking to my sister much.

then we learned the magic key to intimacy, "Learn healthy ways to resolve the conflicts... because conflicts are an integral part of EVERY relationship."

our friendship is now deep, rich, intimate and incredibly secure... because we know that conflict cannot ruin it. it's a safe place to disagree, to work things through, and to learn to be kind to one another, forgiving one another even as God for Christ's sake has forgiven me.

Sharon has dealt with the hardest of all .... abused children who lash out like a frightened animal... out of fear. she sees past the words and hears the pain instead. when she responds, she speaks to what was meant, not what was said.

i highly recommend that you send her your conflicts and let her be your 'Dear Abby'. you'll be amazed at her wisdom!