Did you ever wonder what to do when someone starts to cry?

Have you ever been listening to someone share their heart and tears start to come?

What do you do?

Let them have their feelings.
Acknowledge their pain without feeling the need to "fix it" or make the situation "all better."

On Mother's Day, after the church service, I turned to a friend of mine who had previously been married and lost a baby the day after he was born.
Now, single and in her early forties, she still longed for a baby.

It had years since the baby died but I wondered if Mother's Day would be a painful reminder of her lack of the children she desired. I asked her, "How are you doing?" She looked at me and tears started to roll.

She reached up to wipe them, "I'm sorry. I thought I'd already dealt with all of this."
"It's okay. Let yourself cry. I know it's sad for you."

Tears continued to flow. I stood there without saying anything because I knew she needed to cry.
One time my daughter made this simple but profound observation, "Tears wash away the pain."
Finally, my friend said, "Thank you for thinking of me and your concern. I didn't realize there was still a tender spot there."

Letting someone express their feelings is the healthy way to respond. When we do this, we allow the person to process their pain. The worse thing you can say is "Don't cry" or in some other way, stop them.

We'll talk more about the value of acknowledging someone's feelings more in future posts.

A great gift we give each other is to simply allow the expression of our feelings and to have them acknowledged.

"...weep with those who weep." Romans 12:15b (NKJV)

For more insights on how to listen effectively read my earlier post on 7 Tips for Listening and Talking Together.